If we ever have the chance to work together, you’ll find that I’m a rather intense person. While working on something I am extremely focused. I enjoy it but I’ve also learned how to survive it, and I do mean survive it. I think that intensity is a beautiful thing but intensity can also kill you and those around you. Intensity can literally stop your heart or keep your heart from connecting with those you love.
I used to experience that intensity. I didn’t know how to turn it off. I didn’t know how to walk away from it. I didn’t control it, it controlled me. Until God convinced me of the following
My focus was a gift not a curse. In the midst of my struggle, I first thought I just had to be less intense, I had to care less. This was a huge mistake. God began to show me time after time that my intensity and focus allowed me to see amazing things happen in the lives of people around me. He made it extremely clear that this wasn’t something to escape from but rather something to manage.
The flaw was in my identity. As God began to show me the gift of my focus, He also began to identify the reason why I couldn’t turn it off. At the core of who I was, I believed that my value and security was found in what my intensity could produce. Amazingly, God began to open my eyes to that and call me to rely on one question and one question alone. It’s a simple question that I ask him every day. Are we ok? Slowly God began to draw me to a place where my security and value was found only in the answer of that question. I began to depend on that answer because if we were ok, I was ok.
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